Going against what I said.

I said I would contaminate this blog with such garbage, but oh well.

Nothing feels too good right now. You could put a plate of my favorite food in front of me (just don't ask me what that food would be right now, because I can't think of it, that's how far these feelings extend) and I probably would not get that excited.

I'm feeling a little lousy in a physical and emotional sense. Well, there's always something you can do about the physical lousiness, so I guess I'll get a little sleep and when I wake up I'll do maybe 200 push ups and 10 minutes of crunches, or however long a couple Belphegor and Aeon songs amount to.

I'm not good with emotions. I usually just turn them off or work them out (physically). I have not considered a therapist in a long time. I really just couldn't (is that a word? Please comment me letting me know) be bothered to see one a few times a week and have to get a job to pay for it. Christ knows my insurance wouldn't cover it. Besides, I'm not nuts. I'm just stuck in a rut. What I should really do is seek out a psychic. That's what I really need - some tooth fairy bitch to rub my hand, flip some cards and tell me she senses my strength and intelligence (only because my dark hair, my piercing stare, and my frumpy look implies some sort of deeper meaning), and that my next lover is living a little up-state, is tall, and will appreciate my audacity. Fuck you, you paranormal freak. Okay, now I'm just taking this out on people I have fights to pick with later.

I feel that a lot of mainstream media, and societies standards lead us to believe we're more fucked up in the head than we really are sometimes -- that if we're stressed out about bills, school, or where the fuck we're going in life, that ultimately means we're "depressed". I'd like to be told I just need a little advice. Not a bottle of pills and 45 minute-1 hour crying sessions with someone I don't fucking know. I don't need to spill my guts. I could be a bit of a pessimist, but I don't have to talk about it. Not to mention we're all born with preferences and personalities. I could just use a little hot tea, a back rub, and a kiss on the forehead.

Comprende?